'Cross Racing Advice

I'm not sure if I should be using this open forum to be giving specific advice to one person, but I feel that perhaps my tips can help anyone racing cyclocross, both newbies and veterans.

NEWSLFASH--As I type this, THE SONG that I was planning on incorporating somehow, to drive home my point, JUST came on my iTunes Radio...wow, I COULD NOT have planned or predicted this. That is a CLEAR sign that this was meant to be published in an open forum...

Okay, back to the point I was going to make...

I've been racing 'cross for a few years, and I'm not going to talk about all of the awards and accolades that I've received. No, but I will say that my recommendations stem from my desire to help one person, Renee Bousquet, dominate this form of cycling in the same way that she has slaughtered the women's singlespeed mountain bike race categories. My recommendations are based on my aforementioned experience, my training as a Level 2 USA Cycling Coach, my master's degree in Physician Assistant studies, and my certification as an ordained minister.

So Renee, please pay attention.

I was reviewing my photos from the past couple of races, mainly because I just got a book on Adobe Photoshop Lightroom 3, the software I use to organize my impressive and nearly award winning photo library. While zooming and tweaking photos I discovered something about your form which needs to be changed and needs to be changed right away. No, it's got nothing to do with stem height, saddle height, or any of that crap. Who cares about that?

Nay, I'm talking about this:

 

Do you see the problem? No? Compare that image with this:

 

See the problem yet? No? Okay, compare the following two photos:

 

 

Do you see it yet? Here's the deal--stop smiling! Sure, I've blathered on and on about how much "fun" cyclocross racing is, but you're not supposed to show that you're having fun. 

Look at this, this is correct:

 

Need more? Here are some more examples of proper cyclocross form: 

 

 

So here yo go Renee, the LAST photo of you smiling.

 

Now go practice this technique, and prepare to slay those who oppose you. And here's the song that needs to be your mental soundtrack...